Ever wonder what Madonna’s butt feels like? Me neither, but I recently had a chance to find out — sort of.
It’s so weird! And so cool!
Madonna’s new skincare line, MDNA Skin, includes a face wash, a rose facial mist, eye masks, serums and a clay mask that is removed with a magnetic wand. The majority of the line ranges in price from $50 to $240, but the clay mask and wand set — called the Rejuvenator Set — has a shocking $600 price tag. And what exactly does Madonna encourage us to do with this extremely valuable beauty product? Put it on our butts, of course.
“There’s not one product that I don’t use on every part of me,” Madonna recently told beauty editors at the U.S. launch event for MDNA Skin. “I rub the serum into my knees, and the eye mask goo on my elbows, the mask on my butt.”
If my butt didn’t have an audience before, it’s about to have one now: I agreed to follow the dubious path that the queen of pop has paved and put her $600 clay mask on it.
The mask is infused with non-drying and mineral-rich clay sourced from volcanic ash in Montecatini, Italy, a magnetic coating, and four thermal waters, also from Montecatini. It claims to “capture dirt and impurities while providing long-lasting smoothness and hydration.” Sure, my butt could use all those things. It doesn’t do squats or lunges or even healthy eating, so the least I could do for its appearance is give it some $600 smoothness and hydration.
Here’s how it works, according to the helpfully illustrated instructions included with the set: First, remove any metallic jewelry (this is obviously a more helpful instruction for normal people applying the mask to their face rather than their butt, but you never know), then apply the mask to cleansed skin and leave it on for three to seven minutes. Next, you cover the magnetic head of the device with a “mask remover sheet” and use it to remove the clay in an upward motion. Finally, you massage your face with the smaller end of the device for some moist, vibrating action. (I’m not being intentionally dirty: You literally have to moisten your face and hand to “activate” the oscillation.)